St. Ignatius of Loyola: The Pilgrim

Today I sat down again with Eyes to See, Ears to Hear: An Introduction to Ignatian Spirituality. The section that I was reading was painting an image of who Ignatius of Loyola was in order to better understand the context behind the development of Ignatian Spirituality. Lonsdale puts forth four different images that he believes Ignatius was or used along his spiritual journey and in the development of his spirituality. These in order of their appearance are: the would-be romantic hero, the courtier-solider, the pilgrim, and the evangelizer. Admittedly, at the time of writing this I have yet to read the last image of evangilzer. However, I wanted to stop to take some time to reflect on the image of St. Ignatius as the Pilgrim for a few reasons. First, this image in particular is very insightful and one of the most important to Ignatius himself (he referred to himself as "the Pilgrim" while telling his life story to a fellow Jesuit who would later compose a text dedicated to it) thus it inherently holds some significance to St. Ignatius' understanding of himself. Second, the theme of trusting God and the struggle that comes with that is evidently present in this image which relates in some sense to my previous post. Third, the relationship between discernment and freedom is not only crucial to Ignatian Spirituality but an excellent topic to reflect on regardless. While I'm not going to touch on the first point, I will be touching on the following two as I feel they relate well to the service all JV's are about to embark upon.

"Ignatius' pilgrimage of course was more than just a physical journey inspired by a desire to see and touch the places where Jesus had lived. He was also a pilgrim of the spirit" (Londsdale 47).

Londsdale notes that as a pilgrim of the spirit Ignatius was, "...a time when Ignatius was surrendering to God the control of his own life. He was learning to allow himself to be led by God." Of course like any pilgrimage it was not easy as St. Ignatius struggled between a natural tendency to slip into anxiety and trusting in God. Londsdale provides many examples which truly illustrate the height of the saint's anxiety. After giving up everything in an attempt to fully trust in God on his physical pilgrimage to Jerusalem, he would become anxious over whether or not he should save a biscuit from a meal for the journey ahead or if he should leave it behind. The anxiety was caused by his fear that by taking the biscuit he was failing to trust that God would provide for him. That's wicked intense. Probably more intense than I would normally worry about things. However! That is besides the point; the point is that he suffered through this struggle and in the end forced himself to trust in God. He probably did something along the lines of, "Heck, I have no clue what's going to happen but hey, screw it! I'll do it, and I'm giving it up to You." Maybe not that exact wording but I would reckon the stress and anxiety were present. The result of his trusting in God was that he made it and more importantly it informed his future decision-making during the beginning years of the Society of Jesus. In essence his pilgrimage of spirit and his trust in God helped cultivate a desire to, "find the will of God and have the courage to carry it out."

Well what is the will of God? How does one determine that? Understand it and then attempt to fulfill it? Well this is where the second point comes in: the relationship between discernment and freedom. If I had to answer, "What is discernment?" I'd propose that discernment is the decision-making process of discipleship. Whether the decision in question is in regards to morals, vocation, etc; it is still a part of our call to be disciples of Christ. At times discernment is very tough and very scary as is the journey of discipleship. When I was on team for a retreat, I gave a talk on discipleship and there's a tidbit that I feel fits in well here. In regards to the scary journey of discipleship and the fear that can be experienced when trusting in God, 

"But this is part of the journey of discipleship. It isn't easy by any means; it is a very demanding way of life. But it is the progress of a process, of a journey. It is progress upon a path that everyone travels upon in which we find our true selves; picking up our crosses and following Christ."

So what's the deal here? Well discernment, the decision-making part of this process of discipleship goes together with freedom,

"If the pilgrimage was an education in discernment it was also an education in freedom; the two go together. If the pilgrim is at the mercy of changing circumstances, it is also true that he or she has the freedom of the open road: to choose which direction to take, how quickly or slowly to move, when to travel and when to stay" (Lonsdale 49).

Put the two quotes together. Discipleship is a demanding and progressing journey upon which we discover ourselves through the freedom of choice through discernment, the crosses we carry along the way, and ultimately following Christ. That what we are doing as JVs. We are having to trust in God despite whatever anxieties or struggles we have that He will provide for us and that all will turn out well. However, that does not remove the responsibility of discernment and freedom of choice which we must make as we make our way through our time in service and the rest of our lives afterwards. So I guess in connection with my last post, the difficulties of not trying to plan out ones life, trusting in God that all will work out fulfills itself in the freedom we express during discernment, in the opportunities we take and those we don't.

Well I think that's enough for today, as always thanks for reading! Prayers for Jessica, Michael and I are always appreciated as we begin our JVC journey in SoDak together in a mere 9 days! Wicked crazy and wicked cool. As always God bless!